


"It's ok, You're ok"

by Hypi



Category: Given (Anime), Given (Manga)
Genre: Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-06
Updated: 2020-08-06
Packaged: 2021-03-06 00:54:55
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,039
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25744675
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hypi/pseuds/Hypi
Summary: Mafuyu seeks comfort from Ritsuka in the middle of the night. Listen to this song for the full experience. https://youtu.be/dm87PN-fTlg
Relationships: Satou Mafuyu/Uenoyama Ritsuka, past yuki/mafuyu
Comments: 5
Kudos: 196





	"It's ok, You're ok"

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this in under an hour listening to this song https://youtu.be/dm87PN-fTlg This fic is meant to be read while listening to this song as you should be able to finish it when the song ends or repeats.

I can’t breathe.

I can’t think.

Make it stop please. 

I’m drowning. 

I can’t breathe. 

Please!

Yuki, I’m sorry.

Come back! 

No, no I didn’t mean it!

Please don’t leave me!

Yuki, please I’m sorry!

I’ll do anything, please don’t leave me!

“I’m sorry Mafuyu” 

Mafuyu woke with a start, breath caught in his lungs, throat tight, limbs heavy. He needed to get out now, out of his bed, out of his one bedroom apartment. Far away from that red guitar that brought him so much joy, but so much pain. The guitar where in its case could be fooled as a person if he held it just right, yet it never held any warmth, just the harsh cold and stiffness of the canvas. Just how he found Yuki all those years ago, cold and stiff as if all the memories they shared, the moments of their legs intertwined, one on top of the other, never even existed. No he needed to leave. He quickly got his keys and left. 

He didn’t just walk out of his apartment, no he ran needing to feel something other than the bone crushing suffocation that never left since he found Yuki. He ran with no destination in mind, his brain playing “I’m sorry Mafuyu” in his head like a favorite song you just can’t seem to stop humming. He needed to stop thinking, stop feeling, stop the feeling of drowning. He needed to stop remembering the feeling of seeing Yuki’s stiff body, the feeling of the guitar string snapping right before he sang. He ran as fast as his legs could take him. Cold biting in his lungs, face, every single inch of skin layed exposed from him forgetting his coat to battle the cold Tokyo air in his ever needing desire to get out before he drowned. 

He couldn’t bring himself to care as he felt his fingers stiffen much like Yuki’s, like the canvas of his guitar case. The pain from the cold a near welcome reprieve and reminder that he wasn’t drowning like his mind was telling him. That yes he was alive and moving and nothing like his stiff guitar case. That he was nothing like Yuki. That he was alive and breathing, he was in a band and succeeding, that he was not only surviving but living. Living a life filled with love and music. 

He should have known better than to sleep alone on the anniversary of Yuki’s death, no matter if it’s been years since he died. The ghost of Yuki still desperately haunts him even if he is desperately in love with Ue. 

With the sudden reminder of Ue he realized he quickly changed his direction in running. Yes, Ue’s apartment was miles away from his, something they both bemoaned about while looking for apartments to live in. Him not quite ready to move in together just yet. Even if it was three in the morning and he could feel his entire body prickling from running in the cold, the only reminder he still has that he is alive and not dead. He ran to Ue’s house as fast as his legs could take him, running nearly on adrenaline alone.

It only took him 30 minutes to run Uenoyama’s apartment, a new record for Given’s singer who seemed to never run in his life. It was 4 am when Mafuyu was banging on Ue’s door, the feeling of drowning quickly returning without having the constant movement of his legs reminding him that he wasn’t underwater. That his panting breath was simply from running non stop and not from the constant repeat of “I’m sorry Mafuyu” in his head.

The moment he heard the lock click and saw the door opening to what seemed to be pissed off Uenoyama, thinking some drunkard was once again. Mafuyu could feel his legs collapse, could feel his half frozen body collapsing onto Ue, who stumbled against the sudden onslaught of weight his ginger boyfriend thrusted upon him. He didn’t fail to notice his half frozen fingers, panting breath, and the near look of panic in Mafuyu’s eyes. 

“Mafuyu what the hell are you doing here? Where’s your coat? You're half frozen to death! Did you run all the way here?”

“I saw him”

“Saw who?”

“Yuki”

Oh. He should have known that today was the day Yuki died, he should have forced Mafuyu to stay the night, showed him how much he loved him. But he didn’t and now he has a half frozen panicked Mafuyu collapsed in his arms at 4 AM.

He didn’t say anything the moment he heard Yuki’s name uttered, just knowing about him being the reason for Mafuyu coming here was enough. He didn’t say anything as he dragged them both inside his tiny one bedroom apartment to shut his door and give Mafuyu some warmth back into his body. He spent the entire hour of painstaking picking up a mute Mafuyu clutching onto him like he was life itself and undressing and changing his clothes from his sweat drenched stiff clothes into a loose fitting t-shirt and boxers. Didn’t say anything as he picked Mafuyu up and took him to his bed to hold well after Mafuyu stopped gripping onto him like life itself. 

Mafuyu couldn’t bring himself to say anything after he muttered Yuki’s name. The only thing he could muster himself to do is grip Uenoyama like he was life itself. His legs too tired to function, body too stiff and cold from running with sweat drenched clothes, now frozen and stiff. The only thing he could focus on was that he no longer felt like he was drowning when he gripped onto Ue, that Yuki saying he was sorry was no longer a mantra in his head. So he let Uenoyama undress him and warm him up, never speaking a word. 

He didn’t even speak a word when Uenoyama gripped onto him and engulfed him in his warmth mumbling a never ending mantra of “You’re ok, it’s ok” until sleep overcame him. The feeling of drowning ebbing away like waves on a beach with each “you’re ok”. His final thought being relief and comfort in being in Uenoyama’s arms.


End file.
